Untitled (No. 143)

It's as good as it gives.

Untitled (No. 142)

It's so queasy being green.

Untitled (No. 141)

Wait wait weight.

Untitled (No. 140)

Undo is just a minor cop out.

Untitled (No. 139)

Your sincerity is a dull knife in a fresh wound.

Untitled (No. 138)

It's the sound of one hand slapping.

Untitled (No. 137)

Her arsenal was comprised of a target beam of love.

Untitled (No. 136)

Your ego has legs of its own.

Untitled (No. 135)

Ram was the identified source of sprinkle.

Untitled (No. 134)

The back of his eyelids were stained a surreal kaleidoscope.

Untitled (No. 133)

His will was the consistency of soggy cereal.

Untitled (No. 132)

Humility is futility's utility.

Untitled (No. 131)

Leaks are free with proof of purchase.

Untitled (No. 130)

We balked at his potato salad innuendo.

Untitled (No. 129)

Her laughter barely masked her insanity.

(since I forgot about 04/26/08)

Untitled (No. 128)

Jumping jacks are chicken soup for the libido.

Untitled (No. 127)

He's smarter than the average snake.

Untitled (No. 126)

His power could only be countered by our vertical foxtrot.

Untitled (No. 125)

Your cow eyes mean nothing to me in the long run.

Untitled (No. 124)

It's as difficult as milking a stone.

(since I forgot about 04/21/08)

Untitled (No. 123)

Be wary of items exiting horizontal slots.

Untitled (No. 122)

Pink eye is punishment for telescoping.

Untitled (No. 121)

It's that crinkle in your potato that makes him drool.

(since I forgot about 04/18/08)

Untitled (No. 120)

Wedge issues always fall on their feet.

Untitled (No. 119)

Heavy sandbags served as unembellished viewing devices.

Untitled (No. 118)

It's a shame what people do for bandwith.

Untitled (No. 117)

It's the season for imbeciles and their benefactors.

Untitled (No. 116)

Some lumps cook better than others.

Untitled (No. 115)

Fall guys always look great in pinstripes.

Untitled (No. 114)

The liquor well does well by me.

(since I forgot about 04/11/08)

Untitled (No. 113)

I've never felt felt like this before.

Untitled (No. 112)

The devil's mind is an idle playground.

Untitled (No. 111)

Three of a kind is worth two in the clutch.

Untitled (No. 110)

Disappointment is the inevitable fruit of heavy labor.

Untitled (No. 109)

Peace is the stolen bounty of secular tyrants.

Untitled (No. 108)

It tastes just as good going out as coming in.

Untitled (No. 107)

Rigor is a decadent crutch for the intelligentsia.

Untitled (No. 106)

There's nothing like the smell of fresh hot dog water.

Untitled (No. 105)

Staff meetings are like chewing cud.

Untitled (No. 104)

It only gets easier with lubrication.

(since I forgot about 04/01/08)

Untitled (No. 103)

Stability makes me nervous.

Untitled (No. 102)

Failure is your only guarantee.

Untitled (No. 101)

A calloused heart scrapes emotions.

Untitled (No. 100)

These goals are reached through great procrastination.

Untitled (No. 99)

It only hurts if you think too hard.

(since I forgot about 03/27/08)

Untitled (No. 98)

Buzz is a four letter tragedy.

Untitled (No. 97)

Gloomsday is my favorite time of the week.

Untitled (No. 96)

The suspense is sustaining me.

Untitled (No. 95)

Crying is a zero-sum game.

Untitled (No. 94)

Weariness spreads as rapidly as spilt oil.

Untitled (No. 93)

Humidity has a strange way of gnawing at your spirit.

Untitled (No. 92)

Rules are made to be smoked.

(since I forgot about 03/20/08)

Untitled (No. 91)

Cock-eyed is as cock-eyed does.

(since I forgot about 03/19/08)

Untitled (No. 90)

Failure is highly overrated.

Untitled (No. 89)

Bloating is for dummies.

Untitled (No. 88)

Mumford's comfort reeks of deceit.

Untitled (No. 87)

One shine gun two dye shoe three set key.

Untitled (No. 86)

Posterior effects are neutralized by baby's breath.

Untitled (No. 85)

We secretly pine for the joys of bootyhood.

Untitled (No. 84)

The joys of management are reserved for the duty-bound.

Untitled (No. 83)

The smugness of stride soon betrays shoddy hosiery.

Untitled (No. 82)

Infinity isn't quite far enough for me.

Untitled (No. 81)

We diffuse your babble left to confuse the rabble.

Untitled (No. 80)

Quick lips sink trips.

Untitled (No. 79)

We were chilled by the stone cold stare of a dangling sock monkey.

Untitled (No. 78)

His was an uneasy rhetoric delivered with a creamy filling.

Untitled (No. 77)

It's the pleasure you receive from the gentle sting of a paper cut.

Untitled (No. 76)

That annoying drone is your brain at work. 

Untitled (No. 75)

Repetitive gloating is like taking a victory lap in a motorized rickshaw.

Untitled (No. 74)

The neighborhood dollar store is like barbecued heaven on a skewer.

Untitled (No. 73)

Embrace the ingenuity of the salad bar.

Untitled (No. 72)

It's much like an itch soothed by subtle stimulation.

Untitled (No. 71)

The faint smell of self-assuredness greeted us upon entering the foyer.

Untitled (No. 70)

Hypocrisy is best served chilled.

Untitled (No. 69)

It's tough to accessorize your cynicism.

Untitled (No. 68)

It can only get ever so slightly worse than optimistic.

Untitled (No. 67)

Sheer tastes so much better on toast.

Untitled (No. 66)

We all feigned disinterest as his nose inched closer to oblivion.

Untitled (No. 65)

An ounce of antagonism creates a pound of pleasure.

Untitled (No. 64)

Our ambition was drowned in the deluge of coffeehouse chatter.

Untitled (No. 63)

The runway has gone the way of the dodo.

Untitled (No. 62)

Your vision is as sharp as the crease in his favorite chinos.

Untitled (No. 61)

It was there they lay dripped in semi-sweet chocolate drapery.

Untitled (No. 60)

She toed that fine line between humor and oppression.

Untitled (No. 59)

We witnessed man and throne tangled within a surreal balancing act.

Untitled (No. 58)

His piles of clutter morphed into paper glaciers set adrift upon a carpeted expanse.

Untitled (No. 57)

This moment is marked by the weight of pulmonary matters.

Untitled (No. 56)

Subsequent excavations revealed the gentle beast within.

Untitled (No. 55)

Marmalade just doesn't cut it.

Untitled (No. 54)

She had an uncanny resemblance to a solar eclipse.

Untitled (No. 53)

Your words begat harmless projectiles ricocheting back to their source.

Untitled (No. 52)

One by one your morals come crashing down.

Untitled (No. 51)

It's sort of like that feeling you get when your face is bludgeoned.

Untitled (No. 50)

Inverted umbilical stumps reference extra-celestial origins. 

Untitled (No. 49)

We're addicts for reality smacks.

Untitled (No. 48)

There's no time like never.

Untitled (No. 47)

We often pirouette to the rhythm of cracked knuckles.

Untitled (No. 46)

He received a quaint refreshment from the breath she exhaled.

Untitled (No. 45)

Alternating imagery drifts the inner eye towards solemn resolve.

Untitled (No. 44)

It's similar to the double-barrelled pleasure delivered from the mouth of babes.